Unsolicited
by CaptainReina
Summary: Angel Dust doesn't take just anyone. Not everyone takes that rejection well. Luckily, he has a knight in shining armor to fend them off.


**i just had to get out the customary "alastor protects angel from unwanted attention" scene**

* * *

"Hey, you! You're a hooker, right?"

"Not interested," Angel replied idly, clacking away at his phone keyboard. Cherri was complaining about something-or-other concerning Sir Pentious, and Angel was occupied with apologizing and turning her down. But the lizard demon sitting next to him at the bar was persistent, displeased at being ignored.

"Whaddya mean, not interested?" Already, Angel could hear the angry entitlement in his tone, and was somewhat consoled to see Husk glaring between them from the other side of the bar as he dried off a glass. "You're a whore. I throw money at you, you suck my dick. What's not to be interested in?"

"The 'your dick' part," Angel said dryly. He propped his chin on one of his free hands, still not even looking over at his pursuer. "I can't just put out for any two-pump chump that recognizes me."

"What, you got a new pimp or something?" the lizard kept trying, scooting his stool closer to Angel. "New rules? He doesn't have to know."

"You're barking up the wrong tree," Husk grunted from across the bar. The demon puffed up, his shadow falling over the bartender.

"Piss off, pussy," he hissed, tongue flickering, and Husk rolled his eyes and shrugged in an _I warned you _fashion. The stranger went for one of Angel's wrists next, making him recoil. "Come on, baby, I won't tell."

Angel gave an exaggerated sigh and swapped conversations, a familiar red theme winking up at him as he typed out a quick message - _some asshole's bothering me, come help? _\- before finally stuffing his phone in a breast pocket and glaring at the lizard man. He was not the first demon to come to the hotel and find him, nor the first demon to come to the hotel specifically _to find him, _and he was not the first demon Angel would turn down.

"You won't, but I will," he threatened with a sweet smile, wrenching his hand free. Another reached out for the lizard's broad chest, poking it harshly. "So you'll fuck off if you know what's good for you, got it?"

Okay, so maybe he was being a bit daring for a demon that was showing himself to be a tad aggressive. Or, judging by the vicelike grip around his wrist and low growl rumbling from his throat, very aggressive. This hold was harder to squirm out of, and anxiety sparked in his gut as he was tugged from his stool. The grip tightened and he hissed out with pain, his wrists creaking precariously in protest.

"If you know what's good for you," the lizard growled, tugging Angel close enough that their noses were pressed together, "you'll give me what I want."

"Listen, buddy, no means _no,"_ Angel snapped right back, and with indignant anger rising in his chest, he reared back and headbutted the nuisance as hard as he could.

With an angry roar, the demon tossed him to the ground, and Angel let out a small _oof _as his back and head both hit the floor, leaving him winded. He propped himself up slowly with three arms, rubbing his head gingerly with the fourth. No blood came off, but he had no time to be relieved about that - through double vision, he saw burly hands stretching toward his neck, and through ringing ears he picked up Husk's angry shouting.

"Hey, fuckhead, I told you to back off!"

"You'll back off if you don't want to get it next, furball!"

"I warned you, asshole - "

Angel squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the throttling, but those scaly fingers never curled around his throat. He peeked through one squinted eye, then opened them both with a sigh of relief. There he was - Alastor, looking like a dashing knight, silhouetted dramatically like that - gripping both of the lizard's beefy forearms. He cocked his head at the stranger.

"Angel," he crooned sweetly, glancing back to his partner, "this is the asshole you referred to, yes?"

"That's the one, babe," Angel replied. His tongue was slow to respond to his command, though, and the words came out slightly slurred. "Fuckin' dickhead."

Alastor's eyes narrowed to near-slits as his attention turned back to the lizard. His grip tightened until Angel could see his flesh bulging on either side of Alastor's fingers, and with a flick of the wrist and a sickening _crack _and a horrid screech the arms were broken.

"I'm going to have to ask you to keep your hands off," Alastor hummed. He was not finished, though; with a widening grin, he twisted the appendages still in his hands, and with the chilling sound of tearing flesh he ripped the lizard's arms _completely off. _"But I doubt that'll be a problem, since your hands are - well - off!"

He threw his head back and laughed heartily, tossing the useless limbs to the floor and wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. Angel allowed himself to take a shaky deep breath to calm himself, and he pushed himself into a sitting position, still rubbing his head. The blood gushing onto the floor from the lizard's stumps was starting to pool, approaching Angel, and he scooted away, making a disgusted noise.

Alastor turned his attention to him, and Angel saw the telltale radio dials before he blinked and they vanished. He offered his hands to Angel, who used them to pull himself upright, and the whole world swayed for a moment as his head pounded. He shook it hard, and after a long moment the twin Alastors before him finally merged into one.

"Apologies for the delay, dearest," Alastor told him, glancing over the spider demon for any bumps or bruises. "I got caught up in business! I trust I wasn't too late?"

"A little," Angel grumbled, but at the subtle, almost unnoticeable way those ears drooped, he added more sweetly, "but you're here now, so everything's fine. Just another shitbag - " He emphasized the name with a hard kick to the lizard's skull, who had fallen to the ground. " - acting entitled to shit that isn't his!"

He kept kicking, and Alastor relished in every wet noise as blood flowed freely from the lizard's nose and mouth. Angel spat all sorts of obscenities as his leather soles grew red, and the poor beast was in quite terrible shape by the time the spider was finished, breathing hard. Heavens, Angel was stunning when he was furious.

"Alright, Boots," Husk cut in suddenly, though he did not sound particularly bothered. "At this point you're making wine."

"Niffty!" Alastor called out as Angel made a disgusted noise, and the little maid seemed to pop out of nowhere from behind Husk. She peered over the bar to the mess on the floor, and groaned loudly.

"You _promised _me no more bodies - "

"Oh, he'll be fine," Alastor interrupted, nudging the lizard with his foot, who made a pathetic gurgling noise. "Give him a few days. Hardly a body a cleanup if he's still alive!"

The lizard stirred somewhat and one of his eyes swiveled around in its socket until it finally landed on Alastor and Angel. The other eye was nonexistent amongst his mangled features. A low, gurgling hiss escaped his throat, furious and threatening even in his sorry state.

"We'll see how cocky you are," he managed, guttural past all the blood, and he spat on Alastor's boots, "when Valentino hears about this." Angel seized up, cold dread pooling in his gut, and the lizard started to laugh. "That's what I thought. Let's see if this clown can protect you then, huh?"

Angel didn't process that he was gripping Alastor's sleeve for dear life until the radio demon was easing his fingers open. Alastor studied the blood on his boot for a moment, smile inscrutable, before his grin widened and he placed said foot on the lizard's throat. If possible, that grin scared Angel even more than the threat of his owner.

"Valentino, you say?" Alastor hummed, pressing his foot down harder amidst a sickening choking sound. He leaned down, staring the lizard in the bulging eye, the static in his voice growing until his words were more static than voice. **"He's nothing more than a roach to squish under my boot."**

Angel watched with a mixture of disgust and fascination as that shoe pressed down harder and harder, the lizard's face bulging, until finally there was the _crunch _of a spine breaking. Alastor brought his foot back and straightened his lapels, clearing his throat. He blinked away the radio dials, his voice chipper when he spoke again.

_"Now _it's a body cleanup!"

Niffty scoffed, peeved, but she hopped over the bar and pulled a mop seemingly from nowhere, setting to the task of clearing out the carnage. Alastor turned away from the body and toward Angel, and startled at the sudden way several hands were smoothing over his jacket and cupping his face. Somewhere behind the bar, Husk made a noise of disgust, but Angel couldn't bring himself to care past the cloud of arousal Alastor's bloodlust tended to elicit.

"Al," he purred, thumbing at a speck of blood on Alastor's cheek and only smearing it further, "do you need to go back to work right away?"

"I suppose I can spare some time," the Radio Demon replied, eyelids lowering, "for the right reason."

Angel knew he'd already won him over, so he took Alastor's hands and started to lead him off into the hall and toward the elevator. "I just want to thank my savior."

"Clock's ticking," Alastor hummed, and with a yelp and giggle from Angel he swept the spider off his feet, grin widening at the kiss pressed to his cheek. "Let's see just how much you can thank me, hm?"

* * *

**and then they boned**


End file.
